"Bristol’s indiscretion, and her proud, lascivious, tell-all book reminds me of Jim Burroway’s brilliant parody “The Heterosexual Agenda: Exposing the Myths.” Sure, heterosexuals say they’re for family values. They say marriage is most important. They crow about one man and one woman, creating forever homes in which they raise their morally incorruptible offspring. But Bristol’s new book belies the true agenda of the heterosexual, according to Burroway.
Heterosexuals say they are the true defenders of American values, but the truth is “heterosexual militants have embarked on a systematic assault on American values.” We see this in Bristol’s story as she systematically undermines the American values of sobriety, virginity, sex only within marriage, and not kissing (or anything else) and telling.
Another myth busted by Bristol is that heterosexuals don’t recruit; in fact “heterosexual activists plan on recruiting your children into their lifestyle.” How many children will read Bristol’s book and head to the convenience store to stock up on “girl-flavored wine coolers” before going hiking with their boyfriends? This is a blatant plan for recruitment into the loose, alcohol and Deep Woods Off-drenched world of heterosexual depravity.
Heterosexuals accuse gays and lesbians of undermining marriage, but, destroying that venerated institution is the true agenda of heterosexuals who constantly undermine marriage by having babies out of wedlock, then dissing their baby-daddy in a new book. Bristol is Exhibit A for the true heterosexual agenda to destroy traditional marriage."
More.
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